In Chinese
medicine a distinction is made between two parts of our mind that we know well.
"Yi" (yee) represents our "wisdom mind." It is that part of
us that "knows better," our wise guide that keeps us on track.
"Xin" (shin) is used to describe our emotional mind, that part of us
that makes or wants us feel good.
The ideal
situation is one of balance but keeping a balance can be hard. You wake up in
the morning at 6am and say to yourself you have enough time to get in a
workout, shower, breakfast and get to work. That is Yi and Xin working
together. You have an intention and you know you will feel good afterwards for
having done something constructive and meaningful.
But then Xin
speaks out again and says "Yes but it feels so good to be under the warm
covers and why can't I snooze a little more. I can always work out later."
Anyone who is alive has had this experience. Somehow we muddle through. We
experience the extremes on both ends and find the middle road.
But this is not
always the case. With a significant level of early childhood trauma or
significant combat trauma a healthy coexistence between these two is
compromised. What happens then is that Xin gains the upper hand.
Trauma is significant
for its deviation from the middle road of human experience. It produces
recurring feelings of fear, anger, depression, loneliness, grief and anxiety.
Trauma undercuts our natural development for happiness and creating worthwhile
and meaningful life. In this situation Xin begins to overcompensate. It seeks
"feel good" food from wherever it can find it: drugs, alcohol, sex,
fame and status, relationships, work. The list is quite extensive.
It also begins to
act like an adolescent. Its attention span is about a generous two seconds. It wants
what it wants when it wants it and that is now. Delayed gratification brings up
anger, defiance or rebelliousness. It will resort to any and all tools
available to it to get its needs met: lies, manipulation, cajoling, rudeness.
In other words, it will become self indulgent and justify its self indulgence
with "just because I want to and your rules stink anyway.”
Ever think like that when you were a teenager?
When Xin starts
digging for happiness, it usually digs and digs and finds coal thinking that it
found gold. Happiness is temporary and it is only a matter of time before the
"coal rush" begins again. Meaningful happiness, the kind where you
have a sense contentment where you are healthy, physically and psychologically,
are proud of what you do, sustain meaningful relationships with others, remains
elusive because for that you need Yi.
But Xin, because it is now overcompensating, has robbed Yi of its power
to guide us wisely. It feels like a small, lonely voice in the background of
our minds. Clients sometimes acknowledge having this voice but feel powerless
to live in accordance with it because of the overwhelming momentum of Xin. It
is like putting up one sandbag when a tsunami is underway.
Much of the mental
health industry, as well as the entire body of traditional chinese medicine and
ayurveda, is about bringing Yi and Xin back into a peaceful coexistence where
Yi will gain enough strength again so that more wisdom flows through life for
people to make better choices for themselves. Unfortunately for the Xin
indulgent Yi appears as restrictive, even punitive, which illustrates how
upside down the situation has become and sometimes, perhaps many times, their
lives are examples of upside down living.
"But it feels right....."
More next time.
"But it feels right....."
More next time.
