7. If you are on a 1 speed beach cruiser, don't act as if you were on a Tour de France machine
For various reasons there are some who are just not able to accept who they are right now. These are the clerks who think they should be the ceo of the company they work for. Or these are the presidents who think that because of their position they are above and beyond reproach. Didn't Nixon say in the Frost interviews that if the president does something it's not illegal? I know a few who came after him who didn't seem to get that right.
The French philosopher Sartre once said the problem with man is that he thinks he is always more and less than what he really is. If your self esteem is so low you always think you are less. If it is a bit too high you think you are more.
The truth is the bike I ride right now is the one just right for me right now. If I am not ok with that all peace of mind will stop. Because once I hold the notion that there is a gap between the me I am now and the me I should or could be, there is going to be restlessness. Restlessness can be good for growth. But in some people restlessness is chronic and they complain or criticize all the time. They are fussy, hard to please people. For them there is always a gap between who they are and who they think they are. And that means they will always see us as always "less than" and argue or complain when we don't do or say those things they expect of us. They can't accept being on that 1 speed beach cruiser. It's too clunky. Too slow. Too this or not enough that.
If you want peace of mind enjoy the fact that the 1 speed beach cruiser can do some things a major bike cannot. After all, you're at the beach, not going up the Pyrenees.
8. If you are riding tandem you have to cooperate to get anywhere
If she's up front and wants to go left and he in the back wants to go right, everything stops. A decision has to be made. Right or left? Or keep straight? When I am very attached to my beliefs and values and act on my own, things go easily. But once I am with someone and they bring their values and beliefs and somehow we have to jell to keep the boat afloat, it can get rocky. Because the more entrenched I am in getting "my way" the less I am available for relationship where it is about our way.
Unfortunately many believe "our way" should be "my way." If we only did things my way, we would have no problems. But the other person is thinking the same thing!
Moving forward involves deciding what is best for us, rather than what is best for you or me. Not being able to arrive at what is best for us leads to power struggles and bitter fights. These only happen because someone is not willing to budge on their point of view. To give in feels like a loss or that they're not going to get what they want. Guess what? That's right. You aren't going to get what you want. All the time. Some of the time yes. But in the other times you have a relationship.
